Blogging for laughs

For this weeks blog I have decided to leave out the indepth discussion, and simply relay some jokes to my fellow 201ers. These will not likely elicit many laughs, but enjoy!

1.Writing and Technology- "a real application"

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

2.
Bill Clinton, Al Gore and Bill Gates all die in a plane crash. They are standing before God, seated on his throne.
God asks Al: "What do you believe?"
Al says: "I believe in the earth. I believe if we don't protect it, the whole earth will die."
God says: "I like that, come sit at my left. Bill Clinton, what do you believe?"
Bill Clinton says: "I believe in people. I believe the people should be empowered. I believe no one has the right to tell someone else what to do."
God says: "I like that, come sit on my right. OK Bill Gates, what do you believe?"
Bill Gates says: "I believe you're in my chair."

3.You decide.
As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female, (e.g. "Steady as she goes" or "She's listing to starboard, captain").
Recently a group of computer scientists (all male) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion follow:
FIVE REASONS TO BELIEVE COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:
1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."
4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

However, another group of computer scientists (all female) think that computers should be referred to as if they were male.
FIVE REASONS TO BELIEVE COMPUTERS ARE MALE:
1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
3. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.